Hardest Part of TEF Has Nothing to Do With French
I want to start this newsletter the way I wish someone had started one for me. With the truth.
Not the highlight reel. Not the "I did it and so can you!" poster. The real, quiet, slightly shaky truth of what this journey actually feels like.
So here it is.
We took a family trip to Rishikesh after I got my Canadian PR.
It was supposed to be a celebration. And it was. But something else happened there that I did not see coming.
I sat by the Ganga one evening. Just sat. No phone. No study notes. No Express Entry portal to refresh.
And I started crying.
Not the sad kind. The kind that sneaks up on you when you have been running at full speed for years, and you suddenly stop, and your body has no idea what to do with the quiet.
I thought about the French vocabulary I used to whisper-practice at 10 PM so I wouldn't wake anyone up. The speaking sessions I dreaded. The grammar I thought I would never get right.
The moment before my TEF results came in. My hands were shaking.
All of that was sitting there with me by the river. And I finally let it go.
Here is what nobody tells you about this journey.
It does not just cost you money. It costs you weekends. It costs you the version of yourself that used to sit at dinner without mentally conjugating verbs.
And you pay all of it. Willingly. Because the life you are building on the other side is worth every bit of it.
The Ganga did not care about my CRS score.
But sitting there, it reminded me exactly why I started. Not for the PR. For the life I had pictured. Stubbornly, specifically, for years.
That image is worth every uncomfortable speaking session. Every mistake. Every 10 PM moment when sleep felt more appealing than French.
If you are in the middle of that fight right now, I see you.
Working your 9-to-5. Studying at 10 PM. Wondering if your French will ever be good enough.
It will be.
Because the Ganga was not built in a day either.
With belief in your journey,
Ankita
www.learnfrenchwithanks.com
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